An Email to a Cousin in a Blue City
Hey Cousin Connie.
You say you want me to hurry up and get vaxxed so you can feel safe when you visit. I really don’t think you should come out this spring. Here’s why.
In Smalltown Indiana things are horrible. If only we had listened to Dr. Fauci!
Over half the men, women and children have died of this deadliest of all plagues in the history of humanity. Yes, the economy is good. There are a large number of job openings. Such as grave digger and wheelbarrow pusher. Every night at evening a young man makes the rounds with a cowbell yelling, “Bring out yer dead!” And nearly every family in our little town has at least one body to throw in. Truly tragic.
Because our churches refuse to only meet online, mask or distance it’s hard to find a place to sit down in Sunday mornings because of all the corpses clogging the aisle and piled high on every pew.
What good will all our visits, get togethers, potlucks, and socializing do us when we are all going to die? Due to our selfish, careless ways out of the 1500 inhabitants of Smalltown over 3000 have already died. Oh, for the good old days before the pandemic when people never got ill or died.
Stay safe Connie. You’re better off in Chicago where everyone is masked, vaxxed, and socially distancing. If you came here, not only would you have to worry about the large numbers of the unvaxxed everywhere. You would be screaming at the children happily playing and laughing together with their bare smiling faces.
You would be cussing out all the naked faces at our local grocers which is still open. (Its small size makes it a threat both to public health and the big chain store nearby.) All our lethal fun and friendliness is killing the grandmas—who are also enjoying it. And people might feed you toxic misinformation CNN would disapprove of. The cognitive dissonance might make your head explode.
Connie we can’t have you going to all that trouble. Or exposing yourself to our deadly, non-modified bodies. Our naked faces. And children breathing fresh air. Selfish fools that we are.
Stay safe. Stay far away from us.
We must reap the folly of our ways. Choices have consequences.
-Meg
How many of your Covidian relatives and acquaintances would take this seriously, do you suppose?